#18 - Project Runway Audition Update ... NOT!

Current mood: hungry

Winga arrived in Chicago for her Project Runway audition complete with her three snazzy designs and her entourage.

Unfortunately, Winga's Royal Chamberlain, Mr. Monty marked the incorrect date in Winga's ever so busy social calendar.

The snow was snowing and Winga was freezing cold so she decided to get a big Chicago cookie to fortify her winter insulation:

While munching away and plotting ways to make some quick money in order to fend of Hello Corporate Kitty's lawsuit Winga met a rather unusual, but pleasant fellow.

He invited Winga to stop by and audition for his reality show.

He said he likes a girl who enjoys her food.

Winga quickly concurred because:

1) She needs a job like yesterday.

2) You don't have to sew.

3) The fellow agreed to change the name of the show to accomodate Winga's tastes:

More to come....


WINGA


Currently listening: It's About Time By Flavor Flav Release date: By 01 November, 2000

#17 - Talk Amongst Yourselves

mood: silly


Sorry...

Talk amongst yourselves today.

Winga is busy sweating buckets of flop sweat

(oooh... did we just SAY that? teeheehee...)

at the PROJECT RUNWAY auditions in Chicago.

Luv,

Winga's Pals


Currently reading: Blood Sweat And Tears: Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned to Love Fashion By Bruce Weber Release date: By 01 November, 2005

#16 - Project Runaway from Corporate Kitty

Current mood: busy



Winga needs a lot of money... fast!

FAST! FAST! FAST!

She looked through the Help Wanteds again today to find a nice high paying job so she can hire a highly expensive lawyer to protect her from Corporate Kitty, ESQ. of Cute, Cuddly and Litigious, Inc.

Winga ticked off Hello Kitty... or must she now call the world wide celebrity of diabetic cuteness... Ms. Kitty???!!!

Who Knows!!???

No high paying jobs are available for gals who like to eat cookies, lounge and read People magazine... so Winga has a bright idea.

She is off to Chicago tonight.

She is going to audition for Project Runway!!

Here are her designs:













Look! It's a Unitard!!!

Ooooh... pretty !

Pretty!!

Please cast Winga!!

Here, look at this...



















Nice bright green.

So trendy... so utilitarian

(and the fabric is sooo easy to get at any Wal-Mart discards rack!)

Okay, Okay...

Winga was saving this one for last.

TADA!














Senator Oprah!!

What do you think?

Hmmm.

Tim Gunn will LOVE this.

(If not Winga will kidnap him and take him to Red Lobster and ply him with cheese biscuits until he swoons over her creations.)

And please, please...

Don't tell anyone that Winga can't sew.

Luv,

WINGA

Currently listening: Chicago: Music From the Miramax Motion Picture By Various Artists Release date: By 14 January, 2003

#15 - Scary News Update and Corporate Kitty

Current mood: infuriated

Winga has been pulled off of the emergency medical treatment from her shock at Hello Kitty's new evil LSD laden friend, My Melody.

She woke up screaming "WHERE'S ANDRAE! WHERE'S ANDRAE!"

The doctors determined that there is such a thing as too much PROJECT RUNWAY.

They are now plying her with Twinkies.

More serious matters have invaded the peaceful bliss of WINGA'S WORLD.

We received a very legal looking letter this morning.

Here it is:

Dear Madam:

It has come to the attention of the makers of Hello Kitty that you have made unauthorized criticisms of Ms. Kitty's Sweet Happy News.
Upon further investigation, we have discovered that you have made slanderous comments about Ms. Kitty's new friend, My Melody.
My Melody does not consume LSD or drink spoilt milk.
We are demanding that you promptly cease and desist in this slanderous behavior or we will be contacting your lawyer shortly.

Sincerely,

Mr. Corporate Kitty , ESQ.
Offices of Cute, Cuddly and Litigious, Inc.


YIPES!

Winga's Pals

Currently reading: The Street Lawyer By John Grisham Release date: By 05 January, 1999

#14 - Hello Winga's Sweet Scary News

Current mood: indescribable

Winga got quite a fright today when she opened up her e-mail!

She was so excited when she saw her "HELLO KITTY SWEET HAPPY NEWSLETTER" in her mailbox.

But, then the worst scariest thing happened.

Cute chipper Hello Kitty has a new pal in her neighborhood called...

MY MELODY.

"Oh, how sweet!" thought Winga.

She clicked to see My Melody's newest handbag selection and to her horror this is what she found:

http://shop.sanrio.com/popup_image.php?pID=1107

My Melody looks like Hello Kitty after a few LSD cookies and some spoilt milk.

Here is a re-enactment of Winga's horror at the not so sweet scary news:

We are starting an intravenous drip of ginger snaps (to help her "snap out of it") and the doctor has ordered complete bedrest and non-stop PROJECT RUNWAY viewing for the next 48 hours.

We'll keep you posted.

WINGA'S PALS


Currently watching: Hello Kitty's Paradise - Fun With Friends (Vol. 2) Release date: By 28 January, 2003

#13 - Looking Through the Help Wanted

mood: stressed

Winga is looking through the Sunday Jobs Listings today.

It is not easy to become empress of the universe.

You have to marry an emporer which is sooo not going to happen.

OR...

You have to rule an empire.

Well, maybe looking in the Help Wanted is the wrong place for searching for an empress job?

Maybe Winga should look in the Real Estate section?

You know... small country for sale or something like that?

Feh.

This is too much work.

Where's the Entertainment section?

Luv,

WINGA

Currently listening: Teddy Bear's Picnic By Ann Stephens Release date: By 19 June, 1995

#12 - Naughty Winga

Winga has been very naughty.

She boasted and bragged about Pamela Anderson having a zit on her chin in a photograph from last week's Entertainment magazine.

Winga celebrated so much that she had a chocolate cookie binge.

And now Winga is getting karma payback big-time.

Winga has more zits on HER chin than Pamela Anderson has probably had in a lifetime.

Poor naughty Winga.

Stop the hissy fit, blow your nose and go eat a salad or something, will ya?

Luv,

WINGA'S PALS

Currently reading: How to Get Rid of Pimples By Cookie Mueller Release date: By June, 1984

#11 - Pamela Anderson Has a Zit!

Current mood: ecstatic

Winga is so happy today!

Happy, happy, happy!

Winga is so happy she could SQUEAK!

This week's ENTERTAINMENT magazine (the Oscar edition) has a picture of Pamela Anderson on page 73.

And she has a zit on her chin!

Could life get any better than this?

Let's celebrate!

Where are the fudge bars?

Love,

WINGA

Currently Playing: The Sims Superstar Expansion Pack Release date: By 13 May, 2003

#10 - Winga Gets Spammed (archive Wednesday, March 08, 2006)

Current mood: quixotic

Winga got her first spam today at MySpace.

Unfortunately, Winga is pretty gullible and did not realize what spam is.
Here is the message she received:

Hello,

Please review the information below and complete your process.I'm glad to inform you that we are accepting your application.We are ready to give you a loan. Approval process will take 1 minute.Click here and fill the quick form.

And here is her response:

Dear Lynn,

Winga is a fictional comic character who blogs on MySpace.com.

Winga does not own a home, nor cares to do as such any time in the future.

She is aspiring to become empress of the universe.

When she achieves that goal she expects a palace free of charge.

Good luck selling this mortgage stuff.

Maybe you may want to consider chatting with Winga about other career options?

Selling loans to fictional characters is not going to earn you the big bucks.

Sincerely,

Winga

This is a warning to all spammers...

the Empress of the Universe is not amused.

Feh.

WINGA

Currently listening: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (2005 Original Broadway Cast) By David Yazbek Release date: By 10 May, 2005

#9 - Oscar Night on the Pink Carpet (archive Tuesday, March 07, 2006)

mood: ecstatic

Winga spent this past Sunday trying to traipse her way onto the red carpet for the annual Academy Awards.

Unfortunately, security would have none of it...

so Winga staged her own "pink carpet" event down the road a piece in an alleyway.

For this high fashion event Winga decided to duplicate the famous Lara Flynn Boyle "Oh My Goodness What Was She Thinking?" Golden Globe outfit of 2003. See photo here:

AOL Image Search results for "lara flynn boyle golden globe 2003"

Of course, Winga chose this outfit not to emphasis her skininess, but to find something she could fit into after the great Oreo cookie and pink lemonade caper this past Friday.

See Mr. Mookie for details.

Anyway... the great pink carpet event was a big hit with the guys and gals in the alley.

Free cookies for everyone!

(and a ticket for disturbing the peace from the ever vigilant L.A. Police... did you know they won't accept cookies for a bribe? feh.)

Here is Winga's moment of Glorious Beautiful Fabulousness:



Like what you see?

Get the look from the following:

Halo by: Michel Angelo

Make-up by: Dona Blameus

Clothing by: Sheesa Toobiga Fordis

Shoes by: Tippy Toethrough DaTulips

Set Design by: Cardboard Boxes "R" Us

Hair by: Helmut Head

Currently listening: Tiptoe Through the Tulips/Resurrectio By Tiny Tim Release date: By 25 December, 1999

#8 - Hiding Under the Blankie (archive Friday, March 03, 2006)

Current mood: scared

Winga almost forgot to blog today!

Ooooh nooo!!!

Winga has been watching too much television.

Tonight she watched MOST HAUNTED and the Derek Acorah's Haunted Towns... or whatever the heck they call it.

Now Winga is very afraid.

Very, very afraid.

Winga is convinced that Derek Acorah is going to come into her home unannounced and pretend to be the long lost spirit of her deceased bunny.

Poor Winga.

She forgot to grab a bag of Oreos while darting under the covers in fright!

Guess we ought to enjoy the quiet while we can.

TATA!

from Winga's pals

Currently watching: The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron - Attack of the Twonkies Release date: By 16 November, 2004

#7 - Da Blues (archive Thursday, March 02, 2006)

Current mood: bored

Winga has da blues today.

Winga was hoping for something more charming...

like da lavenders...

or da oranges...

but, no one ever heard of these...

so Winga is stuck with da blues.

Winga tries to be cheerful.

She torments the cat and sneezes at the frost on the window to see if snot freezes.

It does.

But, no one wants to clean that up.

And Winga sure as heck ain't touching that window!

She's Empress of the Universe.

She won't even touch a dust mop without her tiara and scepter...

but the Ugly doll stole them...



FEH!

Gotta go...

the cookie jar is calling.

WINGA

Currently listening: Live at the Regal By B.B. King Release date: By 29 July, 1997

#6 - Project Runway is Full of Meanies! (archive Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Current mood: angry

Winga is so mad!

Feh.

The producers of Project Runway are mean people.

Mean, Mean, Mean.

They made Chloe cry.

They throw a bad project at the contestants during fashion week.

Bad, bad, bad!

No cookies for any of you.

Feh!

Now go get Chloe a tissue.

WINGA

Currently listening: Bad to the Bone By George Thorogood & the Destroyers Release date: By 25 October, 1990

#5 - Don't Put Your Lips On It (archive Tuesday, February 28, 2006)

Current mood: cold

Winga is in woolies today.

Had to toss the cat hair outfit.

It woke Winga up in the middle of the night begging for Friskies.

Unfortunately, Winga had never housebroken her outfit.

So this morning she decided to scrub the little Winga pad.

In the cold, cold northern out reaches of New York.

And it is cold... so cold the ink for this blog turned pink.

And Winga wondered what would happen if she put her lips on the freezing cold computer console on this bitterly cold turn your computer pink day...

mush, mush, squiggle, squiggle...

mmmph, mmmph, mumble....

SQUIIIIIIIIIIISH....

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!

AiYeAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Wiinga says:

"If it's cold... don't put your lips on it."

feh.

Anyone got some Blistex?

WINGA

Currently reading: The Wind Done Gone: A Novel By Alice Randall Release date: By 08 April, 2002

#4 - My Friend Tom (archive Monday, February 27, 2006)

Current mood: amused

Winga has one friend.

His name is Tom on MySpace.com.

Tom likes to be everyone's friend.

He is freindly that way.

Winga is wondering why she has no other friends?

Is it the blended wool and cat hair outfit she is wearing?

Maybe she should have not used the hairs from kitty's hairball?

Maybe she shouldn't ponder such things?

Feh.

Time for a cookie.

WINGA

Currently watching: Mildred Pierce Release date: By 14 June, 2005

#3 - What is a Curmudgeon? (archive Sunday, February 25, 2006)

Current mood: devious

Winga decided to go out and ask the guys and gals on the street,

"WHAT IS A CURMUDGEON?"

Here is what she got:

MONTY: er... em... sounds a bit like the collywobbles....

OTTILIE: Is it a muffin?

ODETTA: Oh no, it is definitely NOT a muffin... but it is loaded with carbohydrates.

WILLOWBEE: The unidentifiable lump in my freezer.

ITTY BITTY: Go away! Wah!!!

And there you have it. We sure as heck don't know what a curmudgeon is, but Winga had fun making her way to the cookie shoppe.
Now where did those malamars go?

Love,

Winga

Currently watching: Brave Little Toaster Release date: By 14 April, 1995

#2 - Out the Window (archive Friday, February 24, 2006)

Current mood: complacent

Dear Blog,

Winga woke up.

Looked out the window.

Saw snow on the ground.

Rolled over.

Went back to sleep.

See you in Spring.

Love,

Winga

Currently listening: Monty Python's Spamalot (2005 Original Broadway Cast) By Eric Idle Release date: By 03 May, 2005

#1 - Project Runway (archive Thursday, February 23, 2006)

Current mood: hyper

Feh.

Winga has Project Runway withdrawal...

and not a darn cookie in sight!

Oh... what's this under the couch?

A Twinkie?

It'll do.

Feh... is it Wednesday yet?



Currently reading: Pat the Bunny (Touch and Feel Book) By Dorothy Kunhardt Release date: By 01 May, 2001